inspiration

I've been quite inspired recently.

Obviously.

Seeing as I finally got around to posting on here, something must have changed.

Maybe because the school year has started, bringing responsibility and schedule. I don't feel like that is the reason, simply because my Senior year hit me up out of the blue. I knew it was coming, but forgot, kept it at bay.

My summer was perfect. I slept and snoozed and napped and ate and swam and partied and rocked out and laughed and goofed and fooled around and watched television and practically lived at my friend's house. It was just what I needed.

But August came anyway. It does that, doesn't it?

And I was glad. Don't get me wrong. I want change. I like change. I need change. But I was also scared. I mean, who isn't when their Senior year rolls around? Sure I'm excited! I see the opportunities and also the end.

So August was a month of guessing for me. Should I be focused? Colleges? Be lazy or productive? *sigh*

Slowly, THINGS started happening.

My sister left for college. It made me think.

I was cast as the titular character in our drama club's fall play.

I finally began dance classes.

My friend KeKeJ came to visit.

And when THINGS happen to me, I make other THINGS happen. It's a cycle. Laziness leads to more laziness and productivity to more productivity. I may not have appeared to have been particularly productive these last few weeks, but believe me, it's all building up in me. The inspiration. I'm about to let loose.

Take dance, for example. I've been wanting to dance since I saw a clogging troupe at an amusement park when I was four or something. Then, seeing Singin' in the Rain sealed the deal. I wanted to move like that, to become part of a song. For various reasons, I couldn't and didn't. I took a two-month clogging class with my sister, mother, grandmother, and a bunch of other grandmothers a couple of years ago, but that didn't fulfill the need inside me.

This last summer I began an adult ballet class with my mother. It was hard. I almost cried each week because I was so far behind. I didn't know any of the steps, steps which were, I might add, in French; I couldn't even touch my toes. I improved hugely over the summer; how could I not?

Three weeks ago, continuing with ballet, I began jazz and tap. This is a class for 12 - 18 yr olds. I am one of the oldest, but still having a ball. Some of the girls are divas and some don't even try. I just soak up as much information as I can and have as much fun as I can. It helped a lot that the song for our first combination was Hurricane by Panic! at the Disco, one of my favorites.

Since beginning, I have stretched like crazy. Almost every day you can find me in my room, sweating in my Spanx. I went from not being able to touch my toes while sitting down (16 days ago) to touching my face to my knees in the same position (as of today). It's hard, but seeing progress is incredibly encouraging. I will definitely be the most improved in my class.

So how else have I been inspired? Would you believe it if I said the internet? Yes, you probably would, since you're reading my blog and most likely frequent the glorious, if screwed up, place we call the internet.

I see, hear about, learn about, watch, listen to, participate with, laugh at, cry at, think about, and look at interesting people and things on the internet all the time. The people in my fandoms are smart and make good artwork.

It's difficult to explain, but sometimes, the tapestry of life (super original metaphor, I know) is just so beautiful that it blows me away. Strings of my life come together in such an amazing way every now and then, and just... inspire me.

One could ask, "what do Princess Mononoke, jazz shoes, and lions have in common?" and the answer would be ME.

What inspires you?

partees and people and OMG IM GOING TO HAWAII

*walks sheepishly to the computer, turns it on, and sighs*

Sorry guys, I just got so DANG-ED busy all of a sudden! I did stuff every day. Like, I mean, WENT places and did stuff!

Sheesh.

I don't have pix right now because I'm a terrible, lazy human, and like to not live through the lens of a camera when hanging out with people. SIDE NOTE: "people" sounds like "perplle" when I say it because I got stupid rubber bands (which is bubber rands with the first letters switched. you're welcome) in my face for my braces.

So I had prom, which was super fun! My boy Snook took me and we danced and goofed off. It was fun. The after party was carnival-y and had inflatables, so yeah. It (prom and all) wasn't what I expected at all for some reason. I don't even know what I had envisioned, but not that. Maybe me and my friends just can't live up to the elegance and "this is the night of your life" thang.

The week after that I had school, rehearsals, and then went to my friend Katie's play with some people. We went to Sonic afterward and chilled. Literally, we chilled. It was freezing that late at night! She was super good performing as a spoon. Don't judge, they were doing Beauty and the Beast!

The weekend after that I went to a Father-Daughter Banquet with my dad and little sister. That was a lot of fun, as was the bowling after party, though I suck at bowling. I bowled a 64, so that's all that needs to be said. I will say, in a feeble attempt to retain my dignity, this was the worst I have ever done, normally bowling in the 80s or 90s. Oh hey I have pix for me bowling!

See my cute college swag and harem pants? I am a hobo, hipster clown.

psyching up

thur she goes!

look at that form! Yeah-huh!

My excited "I made some pins fall over!!" dance.

happay happay fist pumps!!1!

 So that was bowling. Then the next day Snook and Chris the Goat came over to watch The Three Musketeers. Watch it if you get the chance, it's wonderfully stupid and unrealistic. I'll have you know that I invited one other dude and three girls, but none of them could come so DON'T JUDGE ME.

Then came production week for Seussical. We performed three times today and we're done now and you can't understand me unless you've had post-show depression. It sucks, but in a good way. Also, I'M GOING TO HAWAII TOMORROW AND STAYING FOR TEN DAYS AND ITS GONNA BE ALL BEACHY AND STAUFFFF! So thats good! Moar pix to come. Expect the same type of thing as from my Cali trip: a couple updates, a Gnome post, then an absolute photo dump. Kay cool? Cool.

Oh but I just love my partners in crime in my cast. They are the bees knees. I love theater people because they are crazy, but also weirdly respectful (most of the time) because they know what's it's like to be told to be quiet and not sing so much. We're all so cute together too. In our makeup. Hugging each other and working together to make everything perfect and fun and special. *sigh* already nostalgia.

PEACE OUT BBYS! see ya in Solla Sollew....or the WEST COAST! YEEAAUUHHHH!

- billyBobjoe

PS little sassy person
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the end of the world

You guys! I'm embarrassed. I haven't posted in forever, yet y'all have pushed me over the 10k views mark!

NaNo, you ask? Yeah, that didn't happen. It wasn't that I was too busy even. My muse didn't show up to work and left me with no inspiration or ideas. I like the idea of my story, but fantasy is much too deep for my writing skills as of now.

Speaking of writing skills, I got my PSAT scores back. I was super worried, feeling that I had done better than last year, but still not good enough. Without saying numbers, I did really well. It was all God. I won't know if I am a National Merit Semi-Finalist until September, so until then I guess I'll just work on my ACT prep. Gosh, so much college prep. I literally asked my mother whether everyone is this young when dealing with all this junk. I don't feel old enough to need to care, but I really do feel the importance of my grades and scholarships and such.

I have gained weight and grown half an inch in the last 5 weeks, so that's encouraging. I'm strong enough that I'm going to work next semester and be in the Spring musical with Cast N Crew! I'm so glad.

So, we have 9 days 'til the end of the world. What are you going to do? I personally don't think that anything out of the usual will occur on that "fateful" day, as evidenced by all the importance I was giving the things I wrote about up ^ there. I'm going to continue to buy Christmas presents and look forward to the day when my big sister returns from India, with more than the usual amount of crazy dancing, just in case.

I've never been afraid of the end of the world or death. Because I am a Christ-follower, I believe in His promise of Heaven and the Revelation of the End found in Scripture. I have nothing of which to worry.

I'm just glad that The Hobbit is coming out first.

See you on the other side,
bBj