September 19, 2012

a peaceful limbo

Hello, lovelies! It's good to be back.

So much is going on for me right now. I don't mean school so much, but STUFF! Junk. Emotional jazz and random weird things to deal with. For example, my big sister is in India. Yeah, you heard right. For six months, because she is being some MKs' nanny. It's a really cool opportunity, but I miss her.

That's not really why I took a break though. Apparently, I have grown in height along the average curve since I was 10, but I stopped gaining weight at 14 years old. I knew that my appetite had decreased, but I didn't realized until it was too late how awful my eating habits had become. I wasn't eating very much, which caused me to be sleepy all the time and not focusing well in school. Finally, I got too weak to go to work one morning, so my Mom set up a doc appointment. I was scared to death. I did NOT want to have to have blood work all! I went on Monday, to discover that I do NOT have an early form of an eating disorder, but rather have just cemented some bad habits. My Doc literally told me to eat a ton of calories! On one side, that's great! Ice cream and soda, here I come! But when you don't feel like eating, and feel full almost as soon as you start stuffing your face, it doesn't seem so exciting. No kidding, you would not want to trade with me if you could.

Chemistry. Need I say more? It's killer, right?

I'm catching up on my reading finally! I just finished Life of Pi, which I originally didn't think they could turn into an action flick. I have sort of, since then, changed my mind! I need to complete The Book Thief, which is amazing. I am also in the last book of Calvin Miller's Singer Trilogy. It is beautiful. I highly recommend it.

You know how when you are listening to your iPod on shuffle or customizable radio station, and every song is a good memory, encouraging, or describes your feelings perfectly? *currently happening* I'm so happy! I hate to say this, but I haven't been very happy recently. One can only take so much crap from life, but once you hit that mark, it can only get better! See how weird and joyful I am? I can't help it. Even being depressed makes me happy!

I should probably get off my butt, wear clothes other than sweats, put on makeup, or take a shower. I should focus on my grades and get outside occasionally. ugh, that'll take so much time. See how my mind works? Not really, you say? I don't either. It's almost like I'm in some limbo between super joyful and depressed. You probably don't care. You are probably staring at your computer screen asking me in your head, "why are you ranting? Sure, a few things are bugging you! Why must you shove your problems in our faces?" to which I will respond, "It makes me feel better! Having someone who reads my junk is important to me. It makes me want to get my life together so someone will be proud of me!" Selfish? Maybe. Successful? True!

Okay, I'm done for now! Hope you were glad to hear from me!

Better post later with pictures and all the weird comments, fangirling, and metaphors that you have become accustomed to.

Peace out, bro! ~bBj


  1. Glad your back again. I'm not exactly sure what I should but I hope get well soon.
    I have seen the trailer for Life of Pi and thought it was kind of odd, but I might chack it out now.


  2. I'll read your 'junk'(as you call it) all you want.
    But you've got to post it first!;p;p
    (It doesn't do any good to read the same post over and over again.....:D:D:D)

    Hope you start feeling better girlie!:(:(
    It's sounds so remarkably awkward!
    But, Doc knows best!

    Holt5 <3 (@)

  3. Ok, so it sounds like you're a teenager... just sayin! That might explain a lot. I remember those days! You'll make it through! :) <3


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